Do you have regular fridge-rummaging sessions? You know, the hours-long appointment in which you take out all those drawers, shelves, and rancid white-thing-that-used-to-be-orange? And you eventually make it to the freezer, where you find collard greens that you vowed to use six months ago in a really healthful and subtly gourmet extravaganza, probably featuring “Specialty Items” like tahini and unpronounceable produce?
I don’t really think I do. I mean, I find things like collard greens and unrecognizable species when I fridge-clean. But it’s more of a long, long overdue apology to the fridge…but perpetually, which means it is always long overdue. When I clean the fridge, it means I have said to myself (or to anyone who gives a shit about my fridge hygiene – aka my cats who have tuna investments), “Wow, that mysterious substance underneath the jalapeños is 13-month-old beer?”
Maybe this is the norm. If so, I would find its universality (that is, the Fridge Complex) to be perfectly justified; who the heck has sufficiently renewable courage, or the necessary industrial rubber suits, to go in there on a consistent basis? Anyway, upon my last fridge-and-freezer-raid, I found some bananas that looked super questionable, like they abuse their tanning-salon memberships questionable, but they were ideal for these Banana Poppy Seed Muffins (really)!
I love bagels. They get such a bad rap, though, and I’ve been feeling a little defensive for them. Innocent bread circles, wonderfully round, thick and beautiful – what have they done to deserve such criticism, such shunning!
So, I have decided to do some sort of half-assed internet research. Are bagels six times worse than a slice of bread? What does that even mean? Do they, in a single bagel, really have as much calories and carbohydrates as a loaf of bread? How are they made? Did they save cream cheese from the brink of extinction?!
All these and more, tonight on Bette Jane’s Bagel Hour.
Most of us take away invaluable lessons and memories from our college experiences. Outstanding professors, awesome adventures, night-long parties; indeed, higher education provides us with a variety of important times…
…like the introduction of rice pudding. And Warm Cookie Night (boy, did I love Tuesdays).
Bad news: this is our first post of May, which means we are slackin’ food bloggers that’ve been eating their creations instead of sharing them (incidentally, our food-sharing might be more fulfilling to we, the bloggers, than to ye, the blog readers…but that is beside the point).
Good news: this is one g.d. tasty tart, and it is completely worth our worthlessness. I hope.
Now, when you hear the word “bars”, you might think “foolish health food” or “bland” or “$5 pitchers AND Tequila Tuesday”. Erase such thoughts. Well, it is Tuesday, so you may ponder tequila. But only for a moment! Then I strongly suggest you consider these sweet and salty fancy bars. A wonderful balance between nuts, grains and Mediterranean sea salt (fancy), plus chocolate, prunes and better-than-nutella…ahhhhh. They are a way back into love.