Super Vegan Green Hemp Smoothie!

The title of this post absolutely encompasses my shake-of-late, exclamation point and all. Don’t let the green freak you out, it makes for smoothie excellence.


It’s vegan time again! My recent posts may have tipped you off on that. Dairy-less, egg-less, meat-less (of course). And you know what? It feels pretty darn good! Though I admit I haven’t made too many changes to my daily eatin’s. In fact, most of my family and friends like to mutter: “Not surprised” and “You’re crazy.” Oh, the endless love and support!

I think they’re inspired, deep down. Filled with admiration. Thinking to themselves, Wow. I want to be just like Bette Jane someday. Her hair is so shiny! And don’t get me started on her clothes – what taste, what class!

That’s a little awkward, guys. Tone it down.

Me. Fueled up. These hips don’t lie.

Neither does my swell Norwegian friend, Inga. I don’t really call her “my swell Norwegian friend, Inga”. It’s usually just Inga. She’s one of the people that’s blown away by my Lent-length veganism (as depicted above, quite accidentally).

Blown away, weirded out. Tomato, tomahto, eh?

Naked plane! We had an adventure today. There were strange, rather dirty patterns. I want to share them, but I’m not trying to compete with Gone with the Wind here or anything, so I’ll make another post about it when I’m feeling whimsical.

Meanwhile, you can check out Inga and Maddie’s blog, through which they share money-saving tips for hungry and fashionable (oh, jeez, you flatter me) college students!

Anyway! I’m pumped about all the vegan recipes out there. They force me to be resourceful, to whip up “single-serving” puddings, tweaked cupcakes (AWESOME zucchini ones!) and, o’course, protein shakes!

This recipe is just a slight adaptation to my non-vegan norm, which usually consists of Spiru-Tein protein powder. The alteration? Hemp. I said it. You heard, er, read it. Hemp. Naturally full of vitamins, fiber and protein, this leaf has powers beyond the recreational and medicinal tendencies we traditionally know it for. If you’re hemp-curious, check out this link:

I’ve gotta say, though, it looks nothing like the picture.





It’s coo. The taste is super. Remember? Super Vegan Green Hemp Smoothie! We refrain from false advertising here on Hungry gnomes (ahem, my shiny hair and classy taste).

Fruit, vegetable, omega-3 fatty acids!

Sexy new blender!

Very sexy new blender.

And almond butter, of course!

It’s my day-off today. Can you tell I had some time on my hands?

I feel like I should congratulate those that have made it this far in the post. Hopefully the title was kind of a heads-up on its monstrous entirety.

Super smoothie. Er…shake? Oh, whatevs, it’s liquid power!


Super Vegan Green Hemp Smoothie (Shake?)!

serves 1 ish (I like a heaping post-work-out shake)

total time: about 5 minutes, plus subjective chill time*


  • 2-4 tbs of your favorite protein powder (I, clearly, used Nutiva Hemp Protein Shake, vanilla)
  • 1 cup almond milk (unsweetened vanilla is wise) or other non-dairy milk
  • 1 banana, the riper the better…but I’ve rolled with a little green and it blended right in (so many puns!)
  • 1-2 tbs flaxseed or flax meal (you pretty much end up with the same state of flax either way)
  • handful spinach, kale, some kinda nutrient-powerhouse greens
  • 2-4 tbs almond butter (I love thick shakes, so I opt for 4)
  • 1/4 cup oats (optional, though why wouldn’t you? Unless you go by Krisla and want to eat ostrich)

*you can freeze the banana (sliced) ahead of time, or use frozen greens instead of chilling the shake 


  1. Grab your sexy (or non-sexy; I’ve worked with a crazy machine from the ’70s that got the job done…ahaha) blender.
  2. Forgive my incessant dirty jokes and puns. Pour a cup of almond milk into your blender.
  3. Add protein powder, sliced banana, flax, greens, nut butter, oats and blend your way to gettin’ yolked!*
  4. Chill, if none of the ingredients were previously frozen, for about 20-30 minutes. I generally take this time to ignore the dishes (sorry, mom) and eat an apple with almond butter. As if I didn’t give my family enough reasons to admire me.
  5. Enjoy every animal-part-less spoonful!

*Disclaimer: this blog does not guarantee a muscular physique, a juiced-up frame, or a “bod” of any sort.

Congratulations on seeing this post through! “Tomorrow is another day”, after all.

-Bette Jane


3 thoughts on “Super Vegan Green Hemp Smoothie!

  1. Pingback: Super Vegan Green Hemp Smoothie! | hungry gnomes | The Hemp Network News

  2. just saw this today and never write back on these… but I just wanted to tell what is in my smoothy today. blueberry juice, frozen banana, apple, red and green kale, parsley, cannabis leaves, hemp protein… the meat inside the hemp seeds… yum… flax seeds, chia seeds, a spot of ginger root, a bit of lecithin granules… I think that’s all…. sometime I cut my wheat grass and put it right in the blender. We have a vita-mix which is crazy strong, and you’d never know how much fiber is in wheat grass in this smoothy… but it does taste pretty green with the grass. I am not one to make my smoothy sweet other than the banana, and some other fruit like Apples or pears.
    The almond butter sounds interesting. I have put in a piece of raw sweet potato before and that was good. Thanks for your recipe,

  3. Mindy,
    Your smoothie sounds phenomenal. I am absolutely going to try these combinations, like the blueberry juice and parsley! Not to mention ginger root. I’ve been meaning to get chia seeds as well as kale and cannabis leaves, but I keep putting it off for knowing them less well than I know my neighbor’s cat, chuckle. But you’ve proved it; a smoothie calls for any and all awesome ingredients! Thank you!
    Bette Jane

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