Do you have regular fridge-rummaging sessions? You know, the hours-long appointment in which you take out all those drawers, shelves, and rancid white-thing-that-used-to-be-orange? And you eventually make it to the freezer, where you find collard greens that you vowed to use six months ago in a really healthful and subtly gourmet extravaganza, probably featuring “Specialty Items” like tahini and unpronounceable produce?
I don’t really think I do. I mean, I find things like collard greens and unrecognizable species when I fridge-clean. But it’s more of a long, long overdue apology to the fridge…but perpetually, which means it is always long overdue. When I clean the fridge, it means I have said to myself (or to anyone who gives a shit about my fridge hygiene – aka my cats who have tuna investments), “Wow, that mysterious substance underneath the jalapeños is 13-month-old beer?”
Maybe this is the norm. If so, I would find its universality (that is, the Fridge Complex) to be perfectly justified; who the heck has sufficiently renewable courage, or the necessary industrial rubber suits, to go in there on a consistent basis? Anyway, upon my last fridge-and-freezer-raid, I found some bananas that looked super questionable, like they abuse their tanning-salon memberships questionable, but they were ideal for these Banana Poppy Seed Muffins (really)!
Okay, one thing to mention here: I adapted the original recipe into vegan-ness. Hence the flax.
And this was not my first egg-butter-milk-less-rodeo! Which is why I am very puzzled at the result. Especially since I actually did my research on the science, the logistics and the important steps to take when substituting with flax eggs.
Questionable banana (mush mush mush mush mush).
I’ve just winged it with almost all other vegan endeavors previously taken up. Not typically recommended risks to take when baking, period, right?
And yet! There I stood with half a pan of sort of wizened-looking muffins, the other half of acceptable (but only in dim lighting and overall hazy contexts) muffins. Of course, there are countless factors that contributed to their fate.
They were g.d. delicious, though, so I didn’t write it off as a total failure, and thus I share the experience with (little to no) discretion advisory. Just a puzzlement…oh my gosh I typed that thinking I would get the red underline and would have to ignore it because I didn’t want to forfeit “puzzlement” but it is TOTALLY a word.
Banana Poppy Seed Muffins
Total time involved: 1 hour ish, if meandering down the vegan road with the refrigeration of the flax eggs
Makes approximately 15 muffins, from my trial
Adapted from: Crêpes of Wrath
- 1 1/2 cups whole wheat or all-purpose w.w. flour
- under 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
- 3 large bananas, unthawed if frozen, VERY ripe and mashed, or else throw in another nanner
- 1/3 cup vegetable oil
- 1/4 cup milk of choice
- if vegan, add about 1/2 – 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar to milk
- 1/4 cup honey (I think I used about 2 tablespoons, maybe less, but my bananas, as you recall, were ripe mofos)
- 2 large eggs, room temperature (aka flax eggs à la Bonzai Aphrodite)
- 2 tablespoons poppy seeds
- raw sugar, for sprinkling (optional)
- If baking vegan, then start with your flax eggs. Bonzai Aphrodite recommends you refrigerate your flax first (assuming your fridge is freshly-organized and beer-stain-less…heh) anyway, as well as after you make yer eggs. She offers the many flax-grinding means of blender, coffee grinder (totes what I did — thanks, Michael’s caffeine dependency!), food processor, mortar and pestular…pestle…you get it.
- After beating your flax seeds to a pulp, mixing them 1 tbsp. ground flax to 3 tbsp. water for the grandest of totals: 2 tbsp. flax with 6 tbsp. water, refrigerate the gooey business for at least 15 minutes.
- Meanwhile, back at the ranch, preheat your oven to 350°F and line or grease your muffin pan.
- In a large bowl, mix your flour, sugar (I know, weird), baking soda and salt togetha. Set aside, out of the reach of cats.
- In a slightly larger bowl, beat together your mashed bananas, vegetable oil, milk, honey and eggs.
- Add the slightly slimmer of the two bowls (that is, the dry ingredients) to the wet ingredients and combine MAIS only just so it is evenly distributed.
- Fold in yo poppay seeds.
- Pour/scoop/whatevs about 1/3 cup of the batter into each muffin cup.
- Sprinkle with raw sugar yay!
- Bake for 20-25 minutes or until lovely and gold and firm, not jiggly upon touching (in an ideal world, right? Chuckle just kidding jiggle is wonderful).
- Allow to cool a wee bit before serving, if you can. Heh.
- YUMS get real!