Get Real: Banana Poppy Seed Muffins


Do you have regular fridge-rummaging sessions? You know, the hours-long appointment in which you take out all those drawers, shelves, and rancid white-thing-that-used-to-be-orange? And you eventually make it to the freezer, where you find collard greens that you vowed to use six months ago in a really healthful and subtly gourmet extravaganza, probably featuring “Specialty Items” like tahini and unpronounceable produce?

I don’t really think I do. I mean, I find things like collard greens and unrecognizable species when I fridge-clean. But it’s more of a long, long overdue apology to the fridge…but perpetually, which means it is always long overdue. When I clean the fridge, it means I have said to myself (or to anyone who gives a shit about my fridge hygiene – aka my cats who have tuna investments), “Wow, that mysterious substance underneath the jalapeños is 13-month-old beer?”

Maybe this is the norm. If so, I would find its universality (that is, the Fridge Complex) to be perfectly justified; who the heck has sufficiently renewable courage, or the necessary industrial rubber suits, to go in there on a consistent basis? Anyway, upon my last fridge-and-freezer-raid, I found some bananas that looked super questionable, like they abuse their tanning-salon memberships questionable, but they were ideal for these Banana Poppy Seed Muffins (really)!

Enter muffins.

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Blackberry Banana Bread

I came late to berry season. Upon waking up every morning, I thought, “BREAKFAST” closely followed by, “BLACKBERRIES”. After several weeks (I exaggerate not), a 21st birthday (and subsequently a renewed, heinous license that I will be subjecting bouncers to for the next five years), four dank bananas (which are rarely dank enough to not bake with) and a kitten (Duchess Lady Luna-Bear Elaine Athena Indica Rooney Artemis Cheese the III, aka Luna) later, I finally ventured out into the wild grass-wood-land that is our backyard…and frontyard…to collect a heaping bowl of blackberries. Meanwhile, my dear companion, Michael, barely scraped together a cup’s-worth.

It was totally the other way around. Whatever! Caterpillars!

Photo cred: radical drummer, Michael Hannon

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